He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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