its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
