Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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