'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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