If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.