question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding