I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
PANTIES FOUND
True college students do jello shots in the library
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