Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
