when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
