i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
