I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize