I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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