I skipped work to stalk him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
