Sry I called you an 8
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
