you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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