She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
