I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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