I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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