I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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