dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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