sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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