During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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