Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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