I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
