do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
