It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
