But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
