belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize