So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
