so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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