it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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