Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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