I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
