we have officially lost it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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