Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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