so explain again why im purple
no
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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