the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
