Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
