just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
