I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
MIDGETS
????
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
