Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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