I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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