Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
