"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
