piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
