he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
