Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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