You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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