I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i think my cat just said my name.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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