Don't you send me to vm
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
