I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize