Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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