Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
