omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
