We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
is it fun? or sober?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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