but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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