Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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