Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize