I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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