they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
